Chasing Savasana
by tiredwriter
Summary: I'm finally getting around to posting the one shot I wrote for Fandom4Tsunami, just so you know, it's pure fluff.    Jasper couldn't leave without apologizing and ends up overhearing Edward's goodbye.  It changes the course of his life.


_**Title: Chasing Savasana, a Twilight fanfiction**_

_**Summary: JasperxBella, Jasper couldn't leave without apologizing and ends up overhearing Edward's goodbye. It changes the course of his life.**_

_**Warnings: FLUFF, pure FLUFF**_

_**A/N:**_

_**Here it is – the one shot for Fandom4Tsunami. The characters don't belong to me, just to SM, and I'm not entirely sure she deserves them, but that's a conversation for another day. No personal profit is being made by yours truly. This is a purely sugar laden piece of fluff that at times, reality forgot to give input to, but this is my perfect world. Hope you are a fan**_

The others had already left and this decision was so last minute that I knew even my wife wouldn't see it. Not that she was looking; she had made it perfectly clear how she felt about me now. Sometimes, in my darkest moments, I had wondered if it came to it – would she choose me over the Cullen's? Well, I guess I had my answer now.

Edward was so distracted that he didn't even notice me approach them in the woods. I was too shocked to alert him to my presence once I heard his words. Even with my vampiric abilities I had a hard time comprehending them – one thing I knew – they were all lies. Still, I couldn't believe what he did next, left her there, stumbling blindly through the woods after him. I was stunned, frozen in place for long moments until I was able to move again.

What I had done was bad, trying to kill a member of my family, but what he had done? It was unforgivable. The heart is a fragile thing and he had surely broken hers. I forced myself to walk to her, her pain radiated out, almost bringing me to my knees. I smelt her tears before I noticed the blood. She had tiny scrapes all along her arms, but her face was wet with the evidence of her heartbreak. I came within a few feet of her; she had dropped to the forest floor.

"Bella."

She jerked her head around, her red-rimmed eyes snapping to mine.

"Jasper."

She barely whispered my name before picking herself up and practically jumping into my arms, her hands clutched at my shirt and her body wracked with sobs. I sank to the ground, doing my best to avoid absorbing her pain; it would have been too much to handle on top of my own broken soul. As much as I wanted to, I also avoided calming her; I knew she needed this catharsis. I just cradled her gently as she cried, whispering soothing words and running my fingers through her hair.

Eventually she calmed down enough to look up at me. I was taken aback by the expression in her eyes, even more so by the emotions I felt. Gratitude, hope.

"He said you all left, he said he didn't care…"

My dead heart broke for her. I pushed her hair back from her wet face.

"I'm sorry. This is my fault."

"No! Jasper, how can you apologize for what you are? I don't blame you. It's me – I just… I was just never going to be good enough for him was I?"

My anger towards Edward flared, "Don't ever say that Bella. It's Edward that doesn't deserve your love… He lied to you. He still loves you – but he's just not strong enough to do the right thing."

I spat out that last part, so bitter because it hit so close to him. Bella, ever the perceptive human, sensed it immediately and laid one of her hands over mine. She didn't ask the question I expected her to though.

"Why are you here?"

"I couldn't run away, Bella, not without at least an apology. I just wanted you to know, the monster you saw last night, that's not who I am. I just… I needed to make at least this one thing right."

"I know who you are, Jasper. You're the man who told me I was worth something, told me that I was family and then proved it. You're the only one here when everyone else is gone."

I knew in that moment that I could never leave her. She was family and she was the only family I had left. I stood, setting Bella on her feet.

"Thank you."

Bella smiled slightly and laid her hand on my forearm for a brief moment before brushing off her clothing.

"I need to get back, Charlie will be home soon and I look like crap. Could you point me in the right direction?"

I laughed, not five minutes ago, this young woman was broken, and now, I watched with pride as she pulled herself together, starting the slow process of healing.

"It's that way, about two miles."

"Two miles! I'll never get back befo… Wait, will you take me?"

I smiled and picked her up, cradling her again to my chest. I ran as fast as I could for her. I stopped just at the tree line. Her father wasn't home yet. I put her down and she turned to me.

"Where will you be?"

"Here."

The first few weeks were rough on both of us. She spent most of her time at my house and I barely left my study, but she seemed content to stay in there with me. The first day that she came over, with all her schoolwork in tow, she darted into mine and Alice's room and came out with a duffel bag full of my clothing before settling down at my desk.

"You've been wearing that shirt for at least a week… your eyes are almost black, go and hunt and then take a damn shower and put on some clean clothes. I'll be here."

I got up from the old leather wingback that had been my resting place for the last couple of days and managed a small smile.

"Thanks," I briefly rested my hand on her shoulder before I was out of the house.

It was summer now and Charlie was gone on a fishing trip. I didn't know exactly what had triggered it, but when I got to Bella's house that morning, she was sobbing her heart out. It took hours for me to calm her down enough for me to find out what had happened. Apparently, a loose floorboard in her room had caught her attention and when she had discovered what Edward had hidden beneath it… all the hurt he had caused came back to the surface.

When the last tear had fallen, I convinced her that we should get away from Forks for a while. It held too many memories for us both. She agreed and we planned a sailing trip. She had come across a photo album of a trip that I had taken with Peter a long time ago and wanted nothing more than to experience the freedom of an open horizon. I was looking forward to the freedom of basking in the sun without worry of exposure.

Bella allowed me to make all the arrangements; somewhere along the course of our friendship, her disdain of my wealth and nonchalance about spending it on whatever I wanted had melted away. She eventually asked if our vacation from Forks could be extended. She didn't really feel like college yet, but she couldn't just stay where she was. She needed to be away, we both did. She spent many nights discussing it with Charlie and he finally came around to the idea, just as he had eventually come to like and finally respect me.

When the leaves began to turn to brilliant colors, it was time to leave. Charlie drove Bella and I to the marina in Port Angeles. He was a bit taken aback by the size of the custom Sunreef catamaran I had purchased but also relieved that our living quarters were much more spacious than he had imagined. The sailing yacht came with five bedrooms, but since we had no need for a crew, I had two converted into offices for us. They were the only rooms I had designated in the yacht. I wanted to leave it to Bella to choose the rest. Charlie left with a tearful goodbye not long after he finished the grand tour. Bella and I made quick work of unpacking all the supplies, but left our personal items in the middle of the large living space on the lower deck. By mutual agreement, we decided to leave the choosing of rooms until we got out onto the open sea.

After christening our new boat with the traditional champagne, we set out from the coast on the Savasana, a name we had both chosen as our hope for our journey – to obtain the pose of total relaxation. Not to mention we both thought 'corpse pose' was hilarious. I took the time to explain to Bella everything I was doing as I maneuvered the boat out of the harbor, raised the sails and took us out into open sea. The yacht was equipped with all the latest technology; I showed all of it to Bella.

Several hours later on a good wind and we had made it away from the coast. I set a course into the wind that would continue to carry us away from civilization and further south and we both went into the cabin. Once we got to our belongings, Bella turned to me and took my hand.

"I'm the only one who's going to be sleeping anyway, and if you don't mind, I'd prefer we share the owner's cabin. It's so large and has the best view. It'd be a shame to deprive either one of us from that. We already have our own spaces in the office, both of which have an en suite… not that I mind sharing a bathroom with you… but…"

She trailed off and I squeezed her hand, "I think that's a wonderful idea. Let's go get settled."

We carried our things up to the spacious owner's cabin, it had a living and dining area, several couches in the sleeping area on top of a king sized bed that faced out to an unobstructed view off the bow and a private deck. We jokingly fought over closet space and Bella finally pleaded exhaustion and stretched out on the bed and fell asleep. I headed back down to the cockpit below our private deck and settled in to check the weather for our trip. I had hunted last night, although, thanks to my previous sailing adventures, I knew the open ocean held many creatures I could resort to drinking from if my thirst required before we reached our first scheduled destination, Hawaii. The rainy season was just starting there, so we should both be able to enjoy the visit. We could be there as soon as next week but we decided to sail first for warm water, enjoy swimming and relaxing in the sun first, before heading to the islands. By my calculations we'd reach water warm enough for Bella in about four days.

We quickly fell into a comfortable routine, spending our mornings on our own separate pursuits and our afternoons and evenings learning the yacht together, sunning on the deck and making plans. Some evenings I'd lay together with Bella on the large bed as we watched the stars rise out of the brilliant sunsets, and I'd even pretend to sleep. We eventually made it to Hawaii, in the middle of a storm that was forecasted to keep the islands cloudy for at least a week. I took off to hunt as Bella settled in to explore the touristy areas. I was careful only to hunt the non-indigenous game species. We spent a happy week on the island before setting off again.

The next six months or so passed in much the same way, we'd spend several weeks at sea and maybe spend a week or just under at some port of call. I couldn't remember a time of my life that I had enjoyed more than this. We'd survived several storms together and after six months in the sun, Bella's skin had turned a gorgeous golden tone. I reveled in the feeling of having constantly warm skin as I spent almost every daylight moment in the sun; it would take hours for my skin to cool down after the sun set. I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my eternal days in this manner.

I was finally able to separate myself from all that I had been, all the scars screamed that I had done. That was something I was never able to do with Alice. I felt truly calm for the first time in my life. I finally felt like me.

Today Bella was fishing for her lunch; I tried to bet her I could catch something faster but she was having none of it. We were debating about where to go next, we were both leaning towards staying in the open ocean for longer, although it would mean that I would have to take a fishing trip myself. I mused on the technological advances of the past decades for a moment, how it was easy for us to stay on the open sea for so long. We had commercial grade desalination on board, a washer and dryer, even a small hydroponics garden for Bella all made possible by solar power. Oh, how far the world had come.

We ended up opting to stay out in the ocean and I did research on our satellite internet. Peter and I had taken a sailing adventure about twenty years ago and I'd discovered that shark wasn't too horrible of an alternative – Peter preferred modern day pirates. However, after years of Shark Week courtesy of Emmett I was more aware of endangered populations so I was on the hunt for a large, not endangered species that I could find in the area. I finally settled on two species, both which tended to deeper waters. It took two days of searching and swimming to a depth no human could stand but I finally caught up to one.

After I surfaced, I found Bella peering down at me from the boat deck, "You look ridiculous, you know, all sparkly in the sparkling water."

She crouched down on the deck as I came up the stairs, instead of coming all the way up I tugged on her arm and sent her sailing into the ocean. I grinned and dived back in. She came up mad and spitting water, cursing a blue streak.

"Now, now Bells, you're wearing a bikini, some would think you meant to go swimming!"

I swam toward her with confident strokes and wrapped my arms around her. She shivered slightly; my skin was cool from the extended time I had spent in the deep water. On the other hand, it was clear Bella had been outside for sometime, her skin was deliciously warm from the sun. She rolled her eyes and kicked away from me, heading back to the boat, but I could tell she wasn't really mad. She would have ended up jumping in soon to cool off anyway. She stopped just short of climbing back aboard and instead floated in the water. I had seen a pod of dolphins not too far off and I wondered if I could coax them in to the boat. Projecting an air of curiosity and playfulness had worked before.

As soon as I put my plan into action, Bella swam back over towards me. Her eyes were alight with excitement. She loved dolphins. We waited ten minutes and I was on the edge of giving up when I heard the playful clicks. The dolphins had come to check us out. I knew they loved to mimic so I dove under the water, swam deep and the swam back up quickly, swan diving out of the water, twisting and diving back in. It didn't take long until the whole pod was doing acrobatics. One dolphin in particular kept coming back to Bella, and I was shocked that I could feel curiosity from it. Bella held her hand out and the dolphin swam under her hand until Bella caught the dolphin's dorsal fin. She stopped at that point and when Bella grasped on, the animal let out a series of whistles and began swimming rapidly, Bella wrapped both hands around the fin until she was practically straddling the dolphin. The dolphin would then dip quickly under the water, Bella in tow and then jump out while a delighted Bella laughed.

We must have played for at least twenty minutes, but Bella finally became tired and let go of her new companion. She waved and the dolphin mimicked her, lifting a fin out of the water. I took a chance and projected Bella's own feelings of gratefulness to the dolphin; again, I was astonished to feel a similar emotion from the dolphin. After a moment that seemed to stretch forever, the pod went on their way. We swam back to the boat and climbed aboard. After wrapping ourselves in fluffy towels, we sat in lounge chairs to dry off. I marveled at what had transpired, I had never before been able to communicate with my gift with an animal. I turned to talk to Bella about it but she was fast asleep. I chuckled and adjusted her chair slightly so she was out of the sun; she hated getting burnt. I went in for a shower.

It was another several months later and fresh from a shore excursion that I first realized how beautiful Bella was. Not that I hadn't ever noticed it, but never in such a personal way. She had gotten slightly tipsy at an island bar one night and had asked me to carry her back to our boat. She spent the short trip tracing the scars on my arms and when I set her down on a lounge chair on the deck off our room she quietly asked me to tell her the real story. Not the edited version that I gave most, but the real raw story of my life. I couldn't help but oblige. She told me that she often saw remnants of that man – the warrior I used to be – more so now than she ever did when I was with the Cullens. She said it was in the way I handled the boat and the careful way I approached each new destination – as if I was sniffing the air and weighing the place. She said she saw it in how I spoke to her, the gentlemen my mother bred me to be that Maria could never quite kill. And then, so quietly I almost didn't catch it she said she first saw it when I held myself back from killing her. She said she could just tell that if I had wanted, nothing would have held me back from her blood… but that I had allowed the situation to be perceived just differently enough that the family, that Edward could save face.

I had wanted so much to respond but she had laid a finger over my lips and drifted off to sleep before I could say anything. I didn't move her from the lounge, simply got a blanket to cover her up as I was on my way to the helm to take us back to the sea. I returned to her just before the night broke. When the first rays of sun kissed her golden skin that's when I felt it – the stirrings of love that I had for the woman who was sharing my savasana. Bella opened her eyes and they crinkled at the corners with her smile. When they met mine, she spoke; it was barely a whisper but it cemented my future.

"My Jasper."

I felt it from her then, the same thing I was feeling for her. I reached out my hand out to her, she sat up, stretching and caught my embrace. I pulled her to her feet and wrapped my arms around her, burying my face in her hair and she laughed, light and carefree as a bell. No other words were needed, we had spent months building up to this moment without realizing it. We were both free from our pasts and no longer bleeding from old wounds. We were healed and we had come through it together.

It was later, much later, when the sun set on the tangle of limbs that made up our bodies in the bed. Bella finally set up and with a kiss headed to the shower. She paused before she entered the bathroom and looked back over her shoulder.

"I'm going in here for a bit, Jasper. Where will you be?"

The corners of my lips lifted up lazily, slowing forming a smile as I recalled a conversation held almost two years prior.

"Here."

Her answering smile was more brilliant than any I had ever seen as she went into the bathroom. I whispered to myself quietly as I got up to join her.

"And I always will be."

**_Well, folks, that's all she wrote – at least for this story – pure syrupy fluff for my favorite pair. After all this is for Tsunami relief and nothing makes me feel better than a happy ending. Keeping Japan in my prayers and I hope you are as well._**

**_Much love,_**

**_tiredwriter_**


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